It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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