Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I understand Curling. That high.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
