Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
