Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
