my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She bit a glass in half.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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