She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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