Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
As shirtless as possible
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
