we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
