speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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