I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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