We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
