oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So here I am, sexting at work.
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