i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
