There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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