Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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