my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
