also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
