Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
