what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
BRING THE BAGELS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
