he puts the penis in happiness.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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