You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How does one acquire holy water?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
