how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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