Christians are straight up FREAKS
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
