Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
