We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
