just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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