I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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