We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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