Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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