Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
