It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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