Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
