his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't turn off my feet"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
