Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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