i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
