I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They have beer where we have blood.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
