i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
