Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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