the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
