dude i'm inner monologue high
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
