some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
