I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize