i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
