Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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