Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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