mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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