A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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