Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
