Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
