I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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