Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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