so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
