eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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