It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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