I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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