Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
