Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize