i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
