Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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