hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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