I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
