Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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