just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
