Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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