my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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