I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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